hachimitsu

JUST ONE MORE
I CAN'T WAIT TO BE FREE
i wish i could just go "poof" and the last commission would be done "orz

at church i play with an ensemble. the pianist has the
most arrogant air around him. when you're supposed to shake
hands with the people around you, i'm the closest one to him.
he'll reach over the piano to shake the hands of the singers,
guitarists, bassists, heck, he'll wave to the drum kid, who is
the farthest away from him. but when i try to shake his hand,
i'll stand up and reach over my music stand, and he'll put his hand up like in a "don't talk to me" way and keep his eyes on the music.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM

every time he does this and i feel like i'm being rejected,
like "oh you're not good enough, i don't even have to regard you" and
i'm not even the newest person in the ensemble. i hate this feeling
of isolation, this feeling of my ego being crushed again and again. i'm a
self-conscious person to begin with, and this really blows.
i can't stand him. honestly.

good thing he's being shipped off to college, and today was his
last time playing at church.

two downsides
1. now our ensemble leader is pressuring me to replace him.
NONONO i'm not confident at all with piano, AND I DON'T WANT TO
BE COMPARED TO HIM. i'm no where near as good, and i'm not so blind
as to not realize it. i will not subject myself to being his shadow.
never.

2. i play violin normally. so i have to play a solo for the anniversary
of our church in november. he's going to be my accompianist. EFFFFF


on a lighter note, i was rereading naruto chapters, and sasuke's face
never ceases to scare the crap out of me, no matter how many times
i see this page.

OH YEAH KISHIMOTO WHERE IS SAKURA'S CLOSURE ?! godddddd
i really want sakura to go girl power on sasuke